Dharma Library

A large collection of articles, from past issues of New Chan Forum and more besides.

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Abide in the Unborn

Calligraphy for the character Chan

Two experiences come to mind from the retreat:

One morning as I walked outside the Chan hall, I observed 15 to 20 birds darting in and out of trees in unison as they flew up the hill. I felt a sudden jolt, like someone had thrust a knife into my heart. "Huh!" I gasped. But, it was not pain that I felt, it was pure, intense joy. I'm not exactly sure what happened but, in a way, I became those …

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2009 , Anon , Koan Retreat Reports

The Buddhas Do Not Understand!

Calligraphy for the character Chan

A monk said to the Master "The Buddhas of past present and future don't understand. Cats and oxen do. Why don't the Buddhas understand?" Master Nanquan replied, "Before they entered the Deer Park they knew it. "The monk said, "How is it that cats and oxen do know it?" "How could you doubt that they do?" responded Nanquan.

When I read the list of koans in this Koan retreat, I was intrigued by…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2009 , Anon , Koan Retreat Reports

Keep Practicing!

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The retreat was a scientific experiment and the constants were meditation, eating, working, sleeping, waking, meditating. The repetition of the same actions over time showed the illusions of the mind and how untrustworthy the mind is. After the turmoil came a calm and then an essence appeared.

Who Am I?

I can't describe who "I" am any longer. All labels have dropped as they are all illusions.…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2006 , Western Zen Retreat Reports , Anon

Everything In Its Place

Calligraphy for the character Chan

I approached the retreat with some trepidation owing to my being workmaster, my first time on a retreat of any size. Previously I had carried out this role, but only on smaller retreats and very much as an assistant. This time I had to get things organised and, most worrying of all, get up in the morning and get things started! Not only that, but make sure I didn't miss giving any signals and…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2006 , Anon , Koan Retreat Reports

Seeing the Wonder

Calligraphy for the character Chan

The context for attending this retreat feels important. It was the first retreat I had sat as a participant for 2 years - I had acted as Guestmaster on a couple of retreats since then, the last occasion being six months previously on a Western Zen Retreat, when I had sat in on some interviews with the retreat leader. I had really enjoyed this, but I continue to feel it is a privilege to be asked…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2006 , Anon , Silent Illumination Retreat Reports

Surrounded by Silence and Care

Calligraphy for the character Chan

Solitary Retreat at Maenllwyd: Sept. 6 - 13th 2005

On arrival, I felt overjoyed to be at the Maenllwyd and tears flowed on seeing the garden's bright flowers. The sign, "Free" on the outside toilet summed up my hopes and expectations for the week. Before unpacking the car I rang the mule bells, then went up to the Buddha room and lay down on the cook's bed in the alcove where I had planned to…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2005 , Other Retreat Reports , Anon

Fixing the Separator

Calligraphy for the character Chan

Before setting off on my journey to the retreat I was looking forward to the train journey and to a few hours walking before arriving at the Maenllwydd and I was excited at the prospect of coming on another retreat. However as I walked from Caersws the beautiful scenery only occasionally managed to break through my mental meanderings and I felt rather grumpy at the prospect of more communication…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2004 , Western Zen Retreat Reports , Anon

Finding the Fullness of Myself

Calligraphy for the character Chan

I arrived at Maenllwyd with a willingness to open to the fullness of my experience, and to be present with that which I regarded as difficult or challenging. I had already been deeply touched by my travelling companions generosity and thoughtfulness regarding our travel arrangements, and my heart was warm and open as we drove through the gates that lead us along the track towards Maenllwyd.

Upon…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2004 , Western Zen Retreat Reports , Anon

What's This?

Calligraphy for the character Chan

Since attending the WZR at Pinebush (2004) I have been listening to tapes of John's talks frequently while driving. Earlier today, driving along and listening, John's question: "Are you that question?" in one of his talk segments about "Tell me who you are." triggered something which caused me to exclaim: "That's it!". It is difficult to explain the shift in my definition of "I" and certain…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2004 , Anon , Western Zen Retreat Reports

Not So Silly After All

Calligraphy for the character Chan

A few miles from the Maenllwyd I telephone home. I squirm like a little girl as I sign off with my partner who reassures me that I'll be OK. Going up the track I pass a departing taxi driver who clearly feels a kindly amusement at my foolishness. I pull into the yard and draw up my handbrake as I look at the seated men in my rear view mirror promising myself that I am not going to get out. With my…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2002 , Western Zen Retreat Reports , Anon

Seven Years Later!

Calligraphy for the character Chan

It was the first time in seven years that I had been back to Maenllwyd. I had not seen the new Chan hall and was very impressed with the conversion. Sleeping arrangements had improved vastly though the slightly hillbilly, unkempt hay barn look had sadly disappeared.

As to the retreat. Sitting was not bad at all. Slightly more formal than in the old upstairs room. But plenty of zafus. Not much…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2000 , Western Zen Retreat Reports , Anon

On Trying to Say "I'm Me"!

Calligraphy for the character Chan

In the yard, after the rain, every step makes mud. Why do I hate the squelching?

Mixed-up youth, far-out experiences. I first read about Zen, as a 15-year-old in 1966, in Alan Watts' "The Way of Zen". I was immediately attracted by the sense of the Zen masters knowing something that was wonderful yet ordinary in that it was always present. From that time, for perhaps 7 years, I read much about…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 2000 , Western Zen Retreat Reports , Anon

So Much More Fun

Calligraphy for the character Chan

Twenty-four of us talked about ourselves, why we had come and our hopes for the coming week. 'Coming home' was a theme for many. My struggles on three previous Shifu-led retreats made it feel more like school camp. My hopes were to learn more about off-cushion practice and the second stage of Silent Illumination, to avoid my usual frustration and despair ... and to lose some weight.

My first sit…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1999 , Anon , Silent Illumination Retreat Reports

Why are you Here?

Calligraphy for the character Chan

I felt an immense sense of fear and trepidation when I sent my cheque in for my first WZR. Previous to this my record at sitting was about 12 minutes, during which I would usually get terribly restless and my ankles would hurt due to the amount of sport I have played. On the other side I had spent years devouring books on Buddhism and quite a few other `isms' too. My father had always been…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1999 , Western Zen Retreat Reports , Anon

Well There We are Then

Calligraphy for the character Chan

Mahamudra Retreat February 1999, my Retreat Report

My practice at home had been going well. I had read 'The Yogins of Ladakh' shortly after it was published and had enjoyed it very much. I particularly found Tipun's Notebook revealing. Often I have found the words we use not useful for me in working out where I am in terms of practice (a karmic problem). But somehow the Notebook approached the…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1999 , Other Retreat Reports , Anon

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